End of term review 3.0! – “I hope you don’t grip your fella like that”

gggggooooooooooooodddddd mmmoooooorrrrrrnnnnnniiiiinnnnngggggg

It’s finished! (well hopefully), finally the longest year ever is finished.

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I’ve sat all the exams, done my final rotation and its been a good term overall. Apart from the never ending exam stress sending us all rather insane, made me gain 5 pounds and get drunk really easily

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This term i did 10 weeks on what they call an abdomen firm (piss, shit and vomit to put it nicely)… This basically means EVERYTHING in the abdomen from the nipples to crotch, which is a lot of systems to learn essentially in 7 weeks due to the fact we got NO study leave.

I have really enjoyed this rotation and it has definitely been my favourite, but it’s been a shame to not have more time on it as I’ve LOVED the surgery aspect of it… Even if i got teased and picked on 90% of the time in surgery, which normally was a result of myself making up anatomy in the body… Who knew the liver didn’t have 12 lobes?!

Feelings from all medical students everywhere

It seems all those hours spent watching greys anatomy only helped me on 2 occasions, but still thank you Shonda Rhimes!

 

If you’ve been reading this blog for a long time you’ll probably remember that I don’t exactly have the best track record with the male anatomy and yet again this proved true…

We have to get a genitalia exam signed off, so begrudgingly I went to a clinic where I learnt to do the exam. However the Doctor who was doing it had a ‘lets torture the lesbian med student’ and I ended up holding this guys testicles, then I was told to feel them and look for lumps.
Just to let you know I am a professional so this is fine… HOWEVER, I am rather unaware of my strength at times
So while I was feeling for lumps the patients spoke up
“I hope you don’t do that to your fella”

Safe to say I went bright red moved my hands far away and attempted to mumble a come back. So I then spent the rest of the clinic being ripped to pieces by the doctor

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THE HORROR

Most of the term went without a hitch, It was really enjoyable and I got to do some really cool things. So here are my Abdomen rotation highlight *Cue Montage*:
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1.Spending a day with an anaesthetic consultant who let me intubate and control patient airways (The one thing BIG hands are useful for!)
2.Scrubbing in on surgery and being a glorified retractor holder
3.Spending a night with the surgical F1 clerking in and doing all the bloods on ‘my own’ patients
4.Having some awesome people in my firm – this really is the key i think!
5. Actually feeling like I can manage stuff now and not cowering in the corner when picked on

It’s amazing really how much I’ve changed over this last year, I found it really hard at the start and hated my first rotation (psych/neuro), which made me actually wonder if medicine is for me. But I’ve loved this last one and have seen my confidence grow 10 fold.

Even though the rotations went well there was still the matter of actually having to pass the year and sit the dreaded exams…

First the written exam was 6 hours of hell on one day. Each exam being 3 hours long each with 100 MCQ questions. Naturally with a short attention span and i don’t spend ages on a question as I either know it or I don’t i managed to finish both exams within 90 minutes.

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Which was good, I HATE exams

With the run up to exams we had to get into a clinical skills lab to do numerous skills we could get in our OSCE like: venepuncture, catheterisation, CPR, surgical gowning, BP, rectal exam etc.

However due to the amount of students there was a better chance of finding the Holy Grail that getting a slot in the clinical skills room.

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Therefore, a wonderful (and slightly strange) friend of mine decided to make some homemade catheter models…

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Yes I’m worried for him too

P.s. do not get cannulae and catheter mixed up and tell your friends that they can catheterise you… It will end in a year of teasing with even more proof that you should never become a urologist

Overall the OSCE went okay, it wasn’t fantastic but it wasn’t a complete disaster. I even managed to say my name correctly this year and not call myself a boys name…

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The only complete disaster was psych, and well that was pretty much a fail as soon as the patient told me Mi5 were chasing him.
As well as most of my differential diagnose’s being ‘space occupying lesion somewhere in the brain’… Again I’ve ruled out neurology as a future career

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The problem with the exams is that everyone gets very stressed and the conversations all revolve around revision. I feel sorry for all my family and non-medic friends as the only conversations I could have for a month were like..
“What have you been up to?”
“Revision”
“Cool… Got any nice plans for the weekend?”
“Well I’m taking an exciting trip into the centre of London to a new library”
“Oh… Enjoy!”

I pretty much felt like the most boring person on the planet while having all the feels that I still know absolutely Fuck-all

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Now I am on holiday, well I use holiday as a very loose term as I’m spending more time in hospital working in my holiday than I was in term time… But here’s to 2 weeks time where I will be put out of my misery to find out if I have passed! But you know even if I fuck up there are still plenty of options…

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But, this is a message to all of you people applying for medical school this summer, sitting the entrance exams, writing the personal statements, finding the holy grail, performing brain surgery etc etc.

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Oh you’re engaged? You’re pregnant? – I’m sitting here eating my little cousins cookie crisp in my PJ’s: End of rotation review 2.0

ggggggggooooooooodddd mmooorrrnnniiiinnnnngggg

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How was your Christmas and New year, valentines and easter?
Eventful? Loud? Stressful? Welcome to my last 3 months!

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These last 3 months have been insanely busy to the point where I am currently refusing to leave the house for 3 days straight as I haven’t had more than 1 day off since January.

So Christmas was fun (also how was that 3 months ago?!?), i still feel like i’m suffering from the social hangover that was hanging out with 30 members of my family for 3 days straight and probably explains why I haven’t been back up north since.

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Also, you know you are starting to grow up and get deep into your 20’s when…Not 1, not 2 but FIVE friends of mine in my home town got engaged over Christmas… FIVE!! And another is pregnant and 2 have put offers on a house are you kidding me Like, my biggest accomplishment was eating my thighs weight in cheese… Priorities

@momowelch

@momowelch

It’s okay for a few people to have their shit together, but nearly ALL my friends from my school days have their shit together, be it in employment, in a relationship, engaged, buying a house, having enough clean underwear meaning they don’t have to buy some from Tesco in a packet… 9a9ec-existentialcrisisBut who cares, i like the fact I can still turn up to Tesco in my Scrub bottoms and just claim “I’m a student” if anyone questions my decision.

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BUT, There are some real functioning adults in society who actually understand what a tax code is  And I am not one of those adults…

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But on the bright side, I am LOVING this rotation I have just finished, Cardiology and respiratory medicine.

It has just felt 100x better than Psych and Neuro. The Doctors and all the staff on the wards just seem so much nicer and geared to having students hang around. I think it’s been nice to actually get involved with a team of the same doctors and nurses who recognise you and then treat you as a member of the team… Even if that is just running around on the ward round taking bloods, fetching things, doing obs for the nurses etc.

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It’s just a fresh breath of fresh air compared to last term and it feels a lot more how I thought the clinical years would be! And has reinstated my motivation for medicine… even if 12 week terms are very long (well I’ve attended 10 weeks worth… oops)

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I think though this term the fact that I’ve had more of a social life and my housemates who were on a peripheral attachment (where you are placed in a hospital outside of London) are back so there is a full house. But also I stage managed a musical which was THE MOST FUN EVER!

I must say anything that gets me drunk enough to walk down old Kent road at 4am singing and dancing to the chorus line is a win win in my book

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I’ve also got the joy of having to work night shifts in a minor injury unit as a manager and had the joy of having someone shout “Go F*&k yourself” down the phone to me after letting a patient know that we don’t personally deliver a prescription (for paracetamol and ibuprofen) to her house on a well known public holiday is always a joy

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But in an attempt to widen my skill set I’ve had a go at baking, mostly  due to my yearly obsession with the great british bake off… Let’s just say if medicine doesn’t work out for me I’m screwed.

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And on that note, I leave you with the life lessons I have learnt in these past 3 months:

1. Don’t be afraid to be bold and ask for help and to do things! It will get you noticed (please use common sense and be polite though)

2. Also ask what opportunities are available… You’ll be surprised at what can come your way

3. Put your consultants name in your phone in CAPITAL LETTERS so you don’t subsequently drunkly text him instead of your housemate at 3am

4. Join a non-medics society or something to do outside of medicine!

5. Don’t leave the log book to the last week, make sure you carry it from the 4th week to pick up sign-offs when you can

6. Relax more and enjoy yourself more, anxiety will go away

End of rotation review: I’m going to hell and hell is where I am being made to run a 5K

Gggggggooooooooooooooooddddddd  mmmmooorrrnnnniiinnnnggg

Long time no see…

Time has literally flown these past few months with finishing off my first clinical placement in psychiatry and neurology

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There have been some ups and some downs, but I’m finally nearing the end of the placement and a 16 week term. It’s been a long ass term! But mostly enjoyable none the less.

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Psychiatry has been a hard one to start with I won’t lie, mid-term I did feel myself going a little bit crazy and diagnosing myself with pretty much any kind of personality disorder possible, as well as being all of 10 seconds away from pulling up a bed in the psych ward.

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 23.59.03 But there were some pretty interesting patients, including an elderly gentlemen who was having religious delusions, took one look at me and shouted

“You are a non-believer, a sinner and going to hell”

Quite frankly I don’t think he was that delusional.

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But apart from that it’s been a good experience. I’ve fully mastered the art of being the awkward looking medical student attempting to look vaguely busy, as well as being the student who manages to make up an extra cranial nerve due to adding a 13th word into the dirty mnemonic AND accidentally set off the panic alarm in the community psych building causing 6 members of staff to come running… Sorry!

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 But its the end of the rotation and I still feel as thought I know NOTHING…

Apart from I know a few things about ridiculously rare diseases due to my placement being in a tertiary centre, so I can actually say watching all seasons of House 3 times over has helped me in medical school… thank you Hugh Laurie

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Really its just been a long slog, an enjoyable one, I’ve pretty much ruled out neuro and more than definitely ruled out psych as possible future career choices, they just aren’t really for me. But with the placement and the studying comes the fun stuff! And there has been some fun stuff… That mostly revolved around alcohol, the invention of RUMBONGO (Rum+Umbongo) and trying to reinstate some sort of romantic/sex life hahahaha, which obviously failed rather miserably…

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To the point where family members have asked me if I’ve considered using online dating and I secretly have to say no and take tinder off my home page on my phone.

I also decided to take a mini holiday mid term. Mainly for my mental health/sanity, but that long weekend turned into a week of playing with a puppy and wondering why Cornwall only had 8 people on tinder at a 20 mile radius.

BUT LOOK AT THE PUPPY

BUT LOOK AT THE PUPPY… SO SO SO CUTE

But mostly my extracurriculars have revolved around a bottle of wine and being asked to be quiet due to playing cards against humanity in a public place (P.s. Not a good EC to put on a personal statement)

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But now I actually need to start exercising, my ridiculously sporty (well she runs and pays sport for fun) was going for a place in the marathon, and I stupidly said:

“Oh if you get a place on the marathon I will run a 5K”

Thinking no chance in hell it will happen… But guess what… She got a place

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So now it looks like I actually need to go out and invest in a sports bra/torture device and some trainers as apparently converse aren’t suitable running shoes.

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So that’s really my last term, a bit boring really?
It’s really been a term of settling into this new medical student lifestyle

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But honestly the top tips for surviving Psych and neuro are:

1. Don’t self diagnose yourself with EVERY psychiatric condition going or MS anytime a muscle twitches… Well try not too…

2. Most of the questions in neuro can be answered with “I don’t know/understand/care”

3. Learn the god dam cranial nerves and not have to mime the Oh,Oh,Oh, to touch and feel… Every single time

4. Be nice to the nurses, they are amazing and your friends

5. Be nice to your consultant and laugh at his slightly disturbing jokes

6. Do not leave a 5000 word SSC to do the week before the deadline

7. There are always other students going through something similar to you… Don’t be afraid to talk to them and admit when you need help

8. Patients are humans too

9. Try and enjoy it as much as you can and take the opportunities available

Until next time… Merry Christmas

Screen Shot 2014-12-11 at 00.23.41Also well done WordPress for not recognising neuro and wanting to correct it too…

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Dear First medic year me, welcome to hell: A letter to my pre-medical school self

Hello!

This is you a year from now, like the ghost of medical school future… So please don’t freak out!
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Congratulations on finishing the first week of medical school without a total breakdown, we won’t count the mini breakdown after the “introduction to chemistry lecture”… And no you still don’t fully understand what a mole is, nor will you ever really!

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Welcome to what is going to be the most intense, insane, enjoyable and life affirming year of your life! You will meet some amazing people, you will get utterly confused and your little heart will flutter, you lose all your confidence and then you will gain it backEnjoy the ride while it lasts!

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So back to medical school and actually studying, you will panic, you will not understand 90% of the lectures for the first month and a half (and many more after that), but trust me when I say IT GETS BETTER! Just keep plodding along like you always have done, this year really is a marathon not a sprint. 

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And on the marathon note… No you will not run 5k, you will even learn that running for the bus isn’t really worth it – Your mantra of not running unless being chased, will still firmly be in place

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You will go on some a lot of nights out and subsequently after one of them you will turn up to a dissection session hungover…  And let me tell you now, it doesn’t end well! So please can you just not drink those cheap samba shots. You will thank future me and the toilet later.

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Also please don’t fall asleep on the tube on the way to work and then blame it on Captain Morgan and his ship of spiced rum… You will have a horrific day and then your boss will hate you. This is guess is more just general life advice
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Around Christmas things will start making sense and you will pass your first exam very well and it will give you a boost of confidence you desperately needed!

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After Christmas the work load will increase, but don’t panic and focus on what you need to know now and do not panic about exam content tested in July. Go to the library and work at your own pace, don’t feel pushed into lectures you don’t want to be in

But please please please ask for help! (more life advice) If you need help ask for it- Which, will be on many occasions, also don’t be scared or worried that other people are working a million miles faster than you at the start, they will help you! And by the end of the year you will be caught up with them!

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Also, it is so easily to get caught in a medical bubble, please make sure to deal with stuff as it happens and not leave it all until the summer, you will break a little and it will just explode, and it will be messy. You know what you’re like, please don’t bottle it all up!
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You will owe James your whole first year, you 2 will become unlikely very good friends and study partners working together 6 days a week, eating many a Sainsbury’s ready meal in the GEP room. Enjoy it, you will realise this is the best way for you to revise and that actually all those notes you wrote were semi-usless.

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So I know a lot of this just sounds like gobble-di-gook… But you will understand what I mean as the year goes on… However, here are 10 top tips to survive this year from me, well you but in the future: 

1. Study consistently, don’t let a topic you don’t understand sit there. Take your time and look over it!

2. You don’t have to follow what everyone else does, if you want to go study alone to understand the kidney… DO IT. Don’t sit in a lecture and get angry because you don’t understand it.

3. Keep your sense of humour… Luckily you don’t lose yours

4. Ask for help– I think this is the most important one. If you are struggling in anything whether it be studying, mentally or just something in your life ask for help, talk to someone… It will make everything so much better!

5. Take any opportunity you have and run with it. You will be offered amazing opportunities, make the most of them!

6. Call your parents and old friends more… you will get lost in this medic bubble and then realise it’s been 4 weeks without speaking to someone outside of your London bubble of medicine

7. Chill out every now and again and enjoy life! It is so hard to get caught up in studying to not enjoy yourself. Go on that date, take a weekend off to hang out with friends (Triple check) or go visit the parentals for some well needed TLC

8. Make a good impressions with staff, it will go a long way and help massively when getting jobs and stuff done!

9. You will look at 18 year olds and go “really was I like this”… well apart from using the penis shaped beer bong in the SU, you were a little… But there will be some good ones in amongst that bunch!

10. Think of witty remarks to use when people question your undergraduate degree. You will always get asked what you did first before medicine being a GEP, when you say disaster management you will get one of 3 responses… learn to embrace the wankers who ask “How is that a real degree”

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But chuck, well done!! You do actually PASS the year, and you exceed your expectations by far getting a 63% average… well done! and please please please remember about the samba shots 

partyyyy

 

 

After an insane and incredible 11 months of studying 2 years of medical school in 1… i’ve PASSED!!!

gggoooooooooodddddd Mmmmmmooooorrrnnnnniiinnnngggg…

It’s finally summer, which means medical school for this year is finally over!!

 

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It’s been 11 months of academic hell having never touched a chemistry book past GCSE and barely a biology book… but overall this year or last few months have mainly consisted of

Spending far too much money that my savings have all but disappeared – most of it on revision food…

And not really having a social life for the best part of 3 months

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BUT

I PASSED the graduate medicine year!!

PARTAY

I literally couldn’t believe it!!! i was sitting on a train on to way down to the shire to see the life giver when my results came out. I spent the first 3 hours of the train journey being a total fidget, with the man across from me looking really concerned until I finally managed to get onto the internet to find out my results and call 8 people irritating every one on the train… but finally it has all paid off!

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I still don’t understand the basics of chemistry, and I was called a crap medical school by my cousin who asked me about 
mitosis (Telephase.. what??)

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BUT…I’m going to be a 3rd year medical student on the wards!

 

I’m both scared and nervous at the same time, they are trusting me to deal with actual patients now…
However, I’ve got to start thinking before speaking and actually remember all the information that I’ve had to press into my tiny brain this year, which I have already forgotten after working for a few weeks.

I’d really just hoping my brain has put it all away for ‘safe keeping’

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But now for a Holiday, I am going back to Thailand for a well deserved holiday to see friends, get sun burnt and eat my weight in Thai food… 
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See you after the summer!
Good luck to all of you sitting UKCAT, GAMSAT, getting results and applying..
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Level up: Exams, Birthdays, panic and mislabelling genitalia – They joys of my life being ruled by medicine!

Gggggoooooooooooooooooodddddddd mmmooorrrnnnniiiiinnnngggggg

It’s been a while… It’s been busy so say the least! and also been writing this post for a good 8+ weeks… Sorry!

So let’s go back in time a little because there is a lot to say… But I’ll keep it brief and I think the work of the day at the moment is stress…

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Christmas is out the way (okay a long time ago now), I’ve quit my job (for now), the love handles are back and now I’m severely regretting my decision of eating an entire meter of jaffacakes in the space of a week

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But it’s not all Gloomy.. because…

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I PASSED… that’s right… PASSED my first ever proper scary medical school exam
And it was a half decent mark at that

PARTAY

PARTAY

Personally I’ve never been so proud of an academic achievement… Ever since I scraped a C in GCSE Geography 
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And with that I got  hideously drunk and did karaoke…

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It’s safe to say I’m not winning X factor for a while…

This term has hit the ground running, but without having to stand behind a till on a saturday morning looking particularly “ill” I’ve had time to go out on a friday and not be feeling the guilt/anticipation about the  99.9% chance of a horrific hangover I will be sporting the next day…
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But at the moment it’s just about staying afloat and staying on top of the worlds most heavy workload…

If only NEu

If only Neuro was that simple

I’m spending more time in the library than in my own house and it’s not even exam season yet!!!

I know they said Graduate entry was a marathon, but I think they failed to mention the fact that it’s a marathon, without shoes, in the winter while being chased by rabid animals

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If I got a quid for every time a family member has said to me “You look tired, are you okay?” I’d be a lot further away from my over draft that I currently am.

But I’m still enjoying it, which is the main thing -and slowly I’m ruling more and more specialties out… My current most unlikely specialty to ever go into is neurology, too complicated for my liking- so I’ll leave Dr Shepard to that.

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I think also by default I’ve ruled out any specialty to do with the male genitals… On 2 separate occasions I’ve missed labeled the scrotum and/or other parts of it. Leading to over a week of penis jokes… such a joy being in a course 75% male dominated!

But you know medical school isn’t all study and lectures (okay 90% of it is)we actually get a life sometimes, and most recently it’s been the birthday’s of a fair few people including my own desperate attempt to not slip further into my twenties… It fails every year, but I have to try!

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But in true student style we hit the town for a curry and night out… to which at 4am my inner Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen came out of the closet and I decided that quoting Taylor swift and using a roll of sellotape was a safer option to using the left over paint in the cupboard…

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But apart from a few drunken mistakes (you will eventually hear about these at some point), spending far too much time in the library, I really haven’t got much going on – I’m eating healthy, swimming, studying and panicking mostly.

So yeah… I’m pretty much turning into a crazy cat lady, who can go 3 weeks without shaving and spends far to much of my time in the library, so…

Welcome to graduate entry medicine 
Screen shot 2014-03-07 at 00.58.08On a more panicked note… I only have 3.5 week of formal teaching left and apparently I should know everything preclinical about medicine… shit

“No I’ve not been kicked out of medical school, It was a facebook rape… NO I haven’t been raped, my facebook was…”

gggggooooooooooooooddddd mmmoooorrrrnnnnnniiiinnnnngggg

Christmas is nearly here!!! And in 42B we are getting into the spirit…

It's mazing what avoidance tactics are used when faced with neurology

It’s amazing what avoidance tactics are used when faced with neurology

But Christmas being nearly here is also a sign of some other not so pleasant things…. Exams…

The stress eating has started

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The Greggs around the corner from my house is a dangerous place… You know it’s getting bad when the lady in there knows all the local students by the appearance of just complete exhaustion and the lack of personal hygiene

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There comes a point where the only social activity outside the house is going for a quick beer or to Tesco to buy more carbs… And even then the guilt sets in and all of a sudden your brain fires a question like…

What’s your 4th cranial nerve?????

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It’s horrible… The only way to suppress it is by drinking!

During one of these outings into the general public I was facebook raped… Otherwise known as fraped, by a wonderful friend of mine…

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My phone had 10% battery and leaving it on the table to go to the toilet was a mistake on my part because I came back and within 10 minutes of sitting down I had 6 messages and 4 texts asking if it was true…

I’m not sure what’s worse… The fact that people believe that I would get kicked out or that I’d be a STRIPPER in East London…

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If anything I’d be a high class escort

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I’ve also got myself in a fair few awkward encounters recently, which has involved me making up over 5 excuses to not get naked with someone… Or show them my preparation run of leguary during movember

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I also did karaoke… In the hospital’s bar… Singing Call me maybe… And made it home in time to sleep for 5 hours before dragging my clearly hung over arse into work

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I think I’m growing up a little, trying out being professional and using some self-control so I don’t make so much of a complete fool of myself!

But that will be next time… Because I have an exam in approximately 24ish hours and a households worth of carbs to consume in this time…

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But if I don’t manage to post anything before then

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