Oh you’re engaged? You’re pregnant? – I’m sitting here eating my little cousins cookie crisp in my PJ’s: End of rotation review 2.0

ggggggggooooooooodddd mmooorrrnnniiiinnnnngggg

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How was your Christmas and New year, valentines and easter?
Eventful? Loud? Stressful? Welcome to my last 3 months!

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These last 3 months have been insanely busy to the point where I am currently refusing to leave the house for 3 days straight as I haven’t had more than 1 day off since January.

So Christmas was fun (also how was that 3 months ago?!?), i still feel like i’m suffering from the social hangover that was hanging out with 30 members of my family for 3 days straight and probably explains why I haven’t been back up north since.

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Also, you know you are starting to grow up and get deep into your 20’s when…Not 1, not 2 but FIVE friends of mine in my home town got engaged over Christmas… FIVE!! And another is pregnant and 2 have put offers on a house are you kidding me Like, my biggest accomplishment was eating my thighs weight in cheese… Priorities

@momowelch

@momowelch

It’s okay for a few people to have their shit together, but nearly ALL my friends from my school days have their shit together, be it in employment, in a relationship, engaged, buying a house, having enough clean underwear meaning they don’t have to buy some from Tesco in a packet… 9a9ec-existentialcrisisBut who cares, i like the fact I can still turn up to Tesco in my Scrub bottoms and just claim “I’m a student” if anyone questions my decision.

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BUT, There are some real functioning adults in society who actually understand what a tax code is  And I am not one of those adults…

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But on the bright side, I am LOVING this rotation I have just finished, Cardiology and respiratory medicine.

It has just felt 100x better than Psych and Neuro. The Doctors and all the staff on the wards just seem so much nicer and geared to having students hang around. I think it’s been nice to actually get involved with a team of the same doctors and nurses who recognise you and then treat you as a member of the team… Even if that is just running around on the ward round taking bloods, fetching things, doing obs for the nurses etc.

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It’s just a fresh breath of fresh air compared to last term and it feels a lot more how I thought the clinical years would be! And has reinstated my motivation for medicine… even if 12 week terms are very long (well I’ve attended 10 weeks worth… oops)

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I think though this term the fact that I’ve had more of a social life and my housemates who were on a peripheral attachment (where you are placed in a hospital outside of London) are back so there is a full house. But also I stage managed a musical which was THE MOST FUN EVER!

I must say anything that gets me drunk enough to walk down old Kent road at 4am singing and dancing to the chorus line is a win win in my book

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I’ve also got the joy of having to work night shifts in a minor injury unit as a manager and had the joy of having someone shout “Go F*&k yourself” down the phone to me after letting a patient know that we don’t personally deliver a prescription (for paracetamol and ibuprofen) to her house on a well known public holiday is always a joy

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But in an attempt to widen my skill set I’ve had a go at baking, mostly  due to my yearly obsession with the great british bake off… Let’s just say if medicine doesn’t work out for me I’m screwed.

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And on that note, I leave you with the life lessons I have learnt in these past 3 months:

1. Don’t be afraid to be bold and ask for help and to do things! It will get you noticed (please use common sense and be polite though)

2. Also ask what opportunities are available… You’ll be surprised at what can come your way

3. Put your consultants name in your phone in CAPITAL LETTERS so you don’t subsequently drunkly text him instead of your housemate at 3am

4. Join a non-medics society or something to do outside of medicine!

5. Don’t leave the log book to the last week, make sure you carry it from the 4th week to pick up sign-offs when you can

6. Relax more and enjoy yourself more, anxiety will go away

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The perilous adventure of a hungover medical student: The Rum Chronicals (With added Spice)

ggggggooooooooooooddddddd mmoooorrrrnnnniiiinnnngggg

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I’m well into my 3rd month of being a medical student… On my second folder of lecture notes/important stuff and so far no major disasters apart from possibly this weekend at work…

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For who I’d like to thank Captain Morgans spiced rum for my horrific Saturday (and Sunday) at work…

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I fell asleep on the tube, like full on blacked out asleep and woke up at the end of the metropolitan line, completely dazed and no knowing where I was.

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During this “Special time” I had a very nice man guide me to the correct train back towards my place of work who nicely told me “Have a cup of coffee and not to fall asleep and get lost again”

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Luckily, special moment aside I was only 45 minutes late and even offered to work late/through my lunch break, but due to my boss having literally NO sense of humour, the day got worse

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We have these “Naughty girl” late slips at work and you have to fill in the excuse so only telling the truth like the angel Or in my post alcoholic delusional state  I put down as my reason for being late as:

Captain Morgans spiced Rum…

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It was literally as if I had killed his puppy… The world around me exploded…

Safe to say my notice is handed in and I’ll be leaving by x-mas…

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Well apart from that minor disaster, it’s been a fun month! 

I’ve had to learn so so so so so much, my brain is exploding, I’m forgetting how to spell my name and do simple things. Multitasking is proving difficult… 

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There are only so many Dirty pneumonic I can remember!!

I’m actually learning too much and it’s in Latin too!
I feel like I’ve actually been educated at a school where people don’t set fire to the tree line because they’ve been caught smoking a joint or draw a giant penis on a ceiling of a classroom or the rugby field…
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I actually feel slightly smart… and getting 74% in a recent coursework as bought back my faith in actually passing this year!

Self high five!!

Self high five!!

But if medical school doesn’t work out I have my plan B ready and waiting…

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50 shades of heart disease: I clearly do so much at work…

Here’s just hoping that I can survive these last 6/7 weeks of term until Christmas… Roll on Christmas break! Even if we have a fucking exam on January 3rdBastards!
Well lets give this last month a quick summary…

Amount of times I’ve cursed biochemistry and its complete ability to make any sort of sense to me: 1000’s (Don’t even mention Histology… It’s all too frikin PINK!)

Times I got drunk: 4

Started-on by members of the Netball team: 1

Number of Times I “Shat myself” from being started on my numerous netball girls: 1

Money spent: fuck knows

Amount of times nearly fired from being a retail slave: 2

Number of times I’ve thought holy shit what am I doing here: Daily

ppphhfffff, I need a new job – Anyone know anything about tutoring or freelance in London?

… Until Next time!

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“This is not the walk of shame this is the walk of pure victory”

Gggggooooooooooooooooddddd Morning…

photoshop for the win

I’m getting better at using photoshop…

It’s now under a week until I actually get to call myself a medical student….

 

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Holy frikin shit

AND get my horrific passport picture put on an ID card (for the next 4 years!) I’m starting to get nervous…

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I feel like I have a few days to grow up… I now have a (weekend) job (albeit in slave labour errr… Retail) and I have 4 years of medical school ahead of me… The title of the degree is GRADUATE entry medicine… It’s that word… Graduate, it’s starting to make me freak out…

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Not you Callie you’re perfect

It’s not only that! People are getting married, friends are starting to have kids and are even buying houses…

Yes I like gif's now...

Yes I like gif’s now…

Then I’m sitting here still trying to master the science behind keeping my dignity after a bottle of wine or a one night stand…

But in all honest the thought of renting out my womb to a tiny human horrifies me… Plus I’d need to be getting laid by a viable mate of the male species – Like that’ll happen any time soon…

But, I am LOVING London life. Apart from the ridiculous price of booze and hideous amount of tourists in Primark It was like a frikin zoo!!!

 I just wanted some pillows…

you go Grandma

you go Grandma

But the highlight was when I was queuing like a proper Brit and I over heard someone shout

“I THREW MY PIE FOR YOU”

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It broke me… literally broke me, I couldn’t stop laughing – my faith in humanity had been restored temporarily, until I had to exit Primark – which is NOT an easy task, I felt like I was in the final of the tri-wizard tournament

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After the stress of shopping I decided to go out for ONE (Yeah that never happens) drink with some friends and others…

One turned into twotwo turned into liver failure and I found myself back on the tube at 8.30am the next day…

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It’s truely a sobering moment when you have to admit to the man on the tube that this is infact the “walk of victory and not the walk of shame” while similtaniously attempting to keep down the litre of Lucozade I chugged in a last-ditch attempt to give me some energy and sobriety before I stepped on to the moving inferno that is the tube…

Piper shuAfter 2 stops I needed to be let off that tube A-SAP… There was a high ‘chunder possibility’… I would in all honestly rather pull a 12 hour shift in the Oxford street Primark than go through that again..

I don't think I have a choice...

I don’t think I have a choice…

Well, currently the police are outside my house after a large fight down the road… I’m starting to rethink the “I don’t live in Tower Hamlets… I live in *Insert Vaguely better area here*” statement I say a lot…

It’s ok I have my alibi sorted…

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Until next time…

Supply teaching, Secondary school and Sex education… Use a condom or you will die (or breed and we don’t want that!)

Why do weekends go so fast???

I turned old at the weekend, it hurts inside to think I’m gaining further ground into my 20’s… However, I went out in style… Well I wouldn’t exactly say style…

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The room we booked did look like something out of a dodgy B rate horror movie… It was a SHIT hole, and I’ve stayed on some shit holes! (see travelling trunchbull post).

Apparently I'm irresistible to autocorrect... Who can blame it to be honest

Apparently I’m irresistible to autocorrect… Who can blame it to be honest

Awesome weekend, you know it’s good when the nutritional content of my liquid diet included apples, pears, cranberry juice and orange juice (apparently cherry sourz doesn’t count??)

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Well… This week while I wait for Newcastle to get back to me with what I am guessing is a rejection. I have started me new job and OH DEAR GOD… One week in and I needed a bucket of wine… Or a Gallon, which ever is bigger.

 

Let it overflow...

                                               Let it overflow…

Supply teaching secondary kids is bad enough… But then they make me do sex education , there is not enough money in the world to do that to be honest, at what can be described as an animal enclosure of a school… (the joys of supply teaching)

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The following questions were asked…

1. Can oral sex get a girl pregnant?

2. Miss, do you taste poo when rimming?

3. What STD can make my knob fall off?

 

AND I got asked about my (albeit lacking) sex life!!! How do you answer to some future Jeremy Kyle contestants (one kid told me about his brother who went on!) about “the last time you got a good pounding??“… Seriously?!  FYI… too long ago

This is depressing me on so many levels...

This is depressing on so many levels…

I wish I could have just thrown them a copy of Fifty shades of grey and told them to get on with it… (Why is there no audio book edition!?!?)

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After this week I’ve never EVER been so glad I’m going to be a Doctor, I can deal with bodily fluid, emergencies, trauma, exploding testicles (Haiti)… But a class of 30 hormonally charged kids urrghhhh!!!

Until next time… Here is hoping I have some good news!!

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Ok maybe not that good…