Apparently it’s a lot more complicated than… “The arm bones connected to the hand bone”: Welcome to medical school…


Ggggggoooooodddd mooooorrrrnnnniiiiinnnngggg…

Busy

Busy is the word to describe these past 3/4 weeks…

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I’m officially a medical student and my god it feels good (most of the time)!

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However…Being of the non science variety  I’ve ocassionaly often very often been sitting in the lectures and looking at the lecturers like they are speaking parseltongue to me…

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Every few days i get that existential crisis – usually looking at an anatomical image of the arm and then soon after realising that it is in fact a lot more complicated than just

“The arm bone’s connected to the wrist bone… the wrist bone’s connected to the finger bones”

 

Lying bastards

So onto the fun stuff… Freshers week…

Having done several of these before I thought of myself of a seasoned expert, All of us were up for showing these 18 year olds how to truly drink…

Proud high five

Well… It definitely started off with a bang… My house (Further known as 42B) mates and I sat in our onesies, eating mexican food while watching Great British Bake Off

All you need to do is throw in a few cats and we’d be set for life…

She's my new Nigella

She’s my new Nigella…

In all fairness freshers week did get better and involved 12 hours of drinking on a monday… Quite frankly my memory after about 8pm is foggy but from what I can gather…

A few of us decided in a drunken state of mind (having drank since 3pm) that going to the freshers party was a good idea…

2 boat races/waterfalls

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3 rounds of beer pong

AND

2 hours of ‘twat dancing’ – a true phenomenon… trust me

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When they say hangovers get worse with age they aren’t kidding… The worst bit was that I was still drunk until about 11am and the hangover set in quite nicely in the middle of an anatomy lecture…

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Quite possibly the most horrific hangover in recent times… And we had to do dissection…

Formaldehyde and a hangover aren’t a good combination…

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I still havent got used to calling myself a medical student… People ask me what I am doing in London and I have to remember I am actually a medical student and not just pissing about working in retail at the weekends and spending way too much money…

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However… There are certain situations where you should NEVER and i mean NEVER tell people you are a medical student… Trust me I’ve learnt the hard way..

 Most recently in the hairdressers…

After telling the hairdresser I was a medical student she proceeded to tell me about her leaking nipple/pussy abscess on her breast… Which then turned into the all the client (mostly elderly) telling me about their various complaints…

Why yes they are salad tongs...

Why yes they are salad tongs…

I don’t know how many times I had to repeat “You should go and se your GP”

The worst bit is that they have Scissors... and razors… and god knows what else so there is literally no escape…

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I contemplated bolting for the door, but the lady with the leaky nipple and the scissors had some force over me, so I sucked it up like a (Wo)MAN and attempted to change the conversation to Kim Kasabain (Who is she??) or something from Love It magazine…

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So I’ve (again… for the 50th time) started eating healthily every day… Even a box of salad for lunch!

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Well it’s a good start…

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Until next time I leave you with this…

What did I… THEY fall on?

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To infinity and beyonnnddddddd

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