An very merry alternative Christmas “Christmas time, orgasms and wine…”

Gooood evening campers….

2012-12-21 23.14.37

Firstly, holy mother of crap its CHRISTMAS… When did that happen??? I’m confused, i really am. (No change there then)… My mother has even sent me an advent calender and in a hungover-PMS induced rage i ate 12 days worth

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Secondly, I did it!!! I MOTHER OF GOD DID IT!!!  I currently as of today have 3 interviews at Medical schools – Newcastle, Warwick and Kings College London!!! I believe it proves you can just do about anything with a good amount of red bull and determination…


BUT, as karma/the butterfly effect/my general luck has it, if something good happens… something bad happens…

My neighbour Mr McPervy moved out last week 😦

Screen shot 2012-12-11 at 13.29.27to be replaced with a women and 2 children under the age of 4… Who have the combined screaming power of a jet plane on a long haul flight. Personally I prefered the 30 seconds to 5 minutes of grunting.

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I am part of a huge family, i like kids in general BUT… when they scream for a minimum of 8 hours a day and then at 8AM!!! bang crap against my door the day after the world ended, the little shits need to go… If only I could vote them off like in Strictly come dancing.

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The end of the world, another excuse to drink… It was a lot of fun, Billboards of witty signs, too much beer and getting to shoot down French people. (My clever sandwich board below)

2012-12-21 23.10.05

I’ve been trying to explain this for a long time to some people why we (as British folk) dislike the french and friday night solidified my answer… (For one frenchie in particular)..

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Ok, I was wearing a sign that had SEX written in HUGE letters but that doesn’t give you free reign to feel my ass (I have a lengthy list of exceptions to that rule)… and then ask me will this happen (sex) later that night because “I am ze model for ze fashion line le H&M”..

Even with nice cheek bones, the answer is still No…

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This bea-utiful sign appeared down my street a week ago…

2012-12-23 17.41.31After doing the happy dance and the thought of STEAK and BACON and just a general carnivorous orgasm me and my friend went… I was ready for a steak and this is what came…

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John ate 3 of them AND was still hungry… I ate that and a huge chicken salad…

Take not people… I am back on January 11th in the UK… First meal: A cow on a plate, the meat has to be rare, moo-ing is fine… Bacon too.

Because this meal was like letting an alcoholic get a sniff of high quality Lidl vodka… It was like nearly getting to second base to have the words “Don’t touch it because it will blow” said.

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It is Christmas eve, tomorrow I am spending it with friends… I am in no doubt I will be slightly hungover after tonight.


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