“Don’t judge a book by its cover” – Even when the pages are sticky and the cover is vile

I made it, I survived women flu… I now have a new appreciation for life and olbus oil! It’s like the world is brighter, i can smell something, I am a born again non ill person… Well I’ve also spread my germs around for which I am happy to do!

Having a 5 day public holiday in Cambodia and my UCAS sent off (The waiting is already killing me) I decided to go to Vietnam after getting a visa for the 5 days… It was AH-MAY-ZING! (minus the Bus journey)

After meeting Ben on the bus we found a hostel and I ended up going out drinking with him and his Vietnamese Spinal surgeon friends… The night is a complete blur of beer, gin, expensive alcohol (i didn’t pay for a thing mind you), prostitutes and moto rides. It was so much fun, I got to see the city at night, hang out with the locals and the hangover the next day was horrific! The bar was fantastic, really posh – I was the only female minus the prostitutes SCORE!– and every time I took a sip of my G&T we had a waiter who filled our glass to the top again… Hense the hangover.

Deciding to do something cultural I walked around Ho Chi Minh in the pissing rain in a bright pink bin bag… The city is really nice to walk around, I ended up talking to 2 Vietnamese students who asked me if I would speak English with them so they could improve. FYI this wouldn’t hurt some people from Birmingham to do…

Ben being pushed into his fetching green bin bag…..

One thing i was recommended to do was the Chu Chi Tunnels, these are from the Vietnam War with the Americans. I do not know a thing about the war but the trip was interesting and getting to crawl on my ass through a tunnel to get sand in my pants was a personal highlight... We were asked if we wanted to go down one, but the gift mother nature gave me on my chest wouldn’t fit through the hole… there goes my chances of survival in war!

The hole that we could go down…

Going off from last weeks rant about travellers, myself and 3 others sat down and spoke of 2 phenomenons of travellers we have seen on the road…. Travel Bitches and Travel LADs. I love travelling i really do and some of the people I have met are the most amazing ever, but there are some groups of people who even when you don’t judge them by their cover and you give them a go they are still as bad as their cover if not worse… Like the kind of book when you open it the pages are all sticky

Travel bitches… those girls who look like clones and all hang out in a little group, it’s like being back in high school… They are like the mean girls, wearing similar clothing, the queen bee, the slutty one and the thick one. Myself being the master of inappropriate (Msc if anyone is interested) managed to wind them up a lot! Ways to spot a travel bitch:

  • Matching dresses, hair in a tight bun, sometimes a fanny pack
  • Always together in a tight-knit group, only the privileged are allowed in
  • Always have a scowl on walking around – Rarely seen laughing
  • Mostly on the prowl for LADs to shag

So to sum it up Bitches be crazy!

Travel LADs… The LAD culture, as the saying goes. ‘You can take the LAD out of England but you can’t take England out of the LAD’… Speaking to lots of people in Vietnam and Cambodia us Brits have a TERRIBLE reputation, which managed to get worse throughout my time here. Mainly it’s the drinking, rudeness and the very creative comment of ‘Go make me a sandwich’….

Having learnt a few lessons from the past week from work and travelling so I thought I’d share them with you:

1. Never… EVER… Get on a bus full of Korean Children for 9 hours with no sleep and a hangover even if it only costs $5

2. Travel Bitches do not appreciate you saying Topshop is full of shit and severely overpriced

3. Travel LAD’s don’t like to lose a drinking challenge, especially drinking a yard of ale

4. When asked by a professional writer/poet what your favourite poem is do not recite the dirty limerick from Bridget Jones Diary: There once was a girl from ealing, Who had a peculiar Feeling, She lay on her back and opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling. It doesn’t go down well…

5. God Damm I wanna be a Doctor…

So I may or may not be going back to Bangkok on Friday, it looks as if my boss here wants to keep me here for a bit longer… We’ll just have to wait and see!

ta taaa for now

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